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19/11/2008 - Lesbian Flirting

How does a woman flirt with another woman? That can be tricky, especially if you do not know the sexual orientation of the object of your flirt.

There's nothing like having someone flirt with you to boost your self-esteem. Whether or not you return the attraction, it feels good to know that someone finds you attractive. Flirting is an art. It's a two-way game. You have to be able to read your partner's interest and comfort in the flirtation in order to know how to proceed.

But, if done properly, there is nothing better or more exciting than letting the electricity grow between you two in the beginning stages of a relationship. Flirting can be subtle or overt. I prefer the subtle kind.

Here's some tips for flirting:

When you're out together, try to sit near her. Notice if she moves closer or farther away. When you're sitting on a couch and your thighs touch, what does she do? Does she let it stay or inch away?
Look her in the eye when you are talking. Hold the stare for a little longer than you would a normal conversation.
It may sound corny, but open a door for her to walk through.
If you're sitting across from each other, gently put your hand on hers. Don't move it away unless she does.
Tell her she looks nice tonight. Compliment her hair or outfit.
Find out what makes her laugh. There's nothing like humor to cut the tension and loosen you both up.
Offer to get her a drink if you're at a party or bar together.
Touch her hand or shoulder when you hand her a drink.
Tell her you've been thinking about her.
Call her just to say hi and see what's she's been doing.
Send her a little note that says you enjoyed spending time together. An email is okay, hand written and dropped at her door or mailed is better.
Be careful not to over do it. You don't want to seem like a stalker. Look for signs that your flirtation is unwanted. Does she get off the phone quickly when you call? Do you send her long flowery e-mails, only to get one line answers in return? If so, back off and let her come to you.

Good luck and most of all, have fun!

31/10/2008 - Be a Partner, Not a Sex Buddy

You have found the guy that you dream about. A few drinks, a few laughs, a few caresses, a few kisses. One thing would lead to another and all the while you thought you and him are together forever.

Then you realize the next morning he leaves without even hugging you. He may still open his communication with you, and may claim that he still cares for you, but you notice that he is extremely cold towards you.

You got hit with a bitter reality: you fell for a guy who does not commit. Meanwhile, you have become a mere sex buddy to him.

Guys like him release emotion at their own pace and no other. Pouring your heart out will only be seen as a sign of commitment, which is their biggest fear. Hopeless romantics like yourself who often think about the future often fall victim to their charms. The sex buddy has no concept of the past or future; what's important is the present.

His frame of mind believes that anything beyond hanging out—like getting close, sharing non-sexual activities together—would only destroy relationships. After all, what you have been doing together seems okay, so why would you have to mess it up by bringing all that commitment stuff into the picture?

Although it is best to find another guy who is just as committal as you, you may want to take a chance and test if he would do anything to gain your affection. Try to do the art of reciprocation (or in other words, playing hard-to-get). It is most effective for sex buddies who like to be in control of the emotional board. It may be difficult at first because you have to hold back your biggest asset—your emotions. However, the rewards can be great.

Ask your sister of a female friend to teach you a few techniques, since they've been doing this a lot of times with men. If he gives you little emotion, give him an equal amount of emotion as well. If he pulls back, pull back as well. If one day he wants to meet you, tell him you are busy and try to check his reaction if he'll make an effort to try and see you. Keep some distance, but not as far as he would to you, until you have trained him to give a little more. To these guys, your emotional words mean little, but your actions matter. You may even subtly mention that your relationship is not one-sided. If he wants some, then he has to give some.

Some gay men are hesitant to put their partners on the same pedestal emotional as they do sexually. Try giving him a taste of his own medicine if you want to snag him. If everything else fails, don't just drop him off. Sit him down and let him know that you need more emotionally. You are probably destined to find a guy who is willing wear his heart on the sleeve, just like you do.

27/10/2008 - Steamy quickies

After a popular gym in Cape Town recently placed a sign on their sauna door, “No lewd conduct allowed”, I was asked to write about the reasons many gay men cruise and indulge in anonymous, ‘quickie’ sex – sexual interactions that occur in the gym sauna, for example. My initial response was an obvious “because we can” (duh!), but that didn’t go down too well and I was sent off to explore the topic further.

Men are sexual beings
Before we look at gay men specifically, let’s consider all men: I bet that a straight man sweating in the gym sauna with a semi-naked woman sitting beside him would also experience a few carnal thoughts. We’re sexual beings after all, and men are often particularly easily aroused by visual stimulation.

Socialisation plays a role
Our gender-based socialisation also plays a role in this scenario:

1. Imagine a straight bar, pub, shebeen or indeed a gym and know that cruising behaviour (aka flirting in Straightville) is definitely taking place.

2. The straight guys have been socialised to get into the girls’ knickers as soon as possible, while the girls have been socialised to try (or at least to appear to be trying) to keep men out of their knickers for as long as possible.

3. Remove the girls’ energy from the scenario, place two horny men together without the restraints of the girls’ socialisation and suddenly: boom-chaka-boom, we have two parties who have both been programmed to get to home base A.S.A.P.

Exposure and exhibitionism
Gyms provide an ideally rich and fertile space for the build-up of sexual energy – we naturally become increasingly aware of our own bodiliness while also being visually bombarded with images of other bodies. Mirrors, posturing and posing, straining muscles, working bodies, subtle elements of exposure and blatant exhibitionism in the showers conflate with our endorphins to create a ritualised worship of narcissistic bodiliness. And for many men, whether gay or straight, this translates into a complex worship of masculinity.

Gym - a macho environment
The intense interface between straight and gay men in gyms is an interesting phenomenon. Straight, semi-straight and gay men mingle and interact according to gym norms – such as respecting individual’s personal space – and sexual orientation becomes secondary to the task at hand. But for many men who consider themselves straight and yet have homoerotic fantasy content, gyms provide the only opportunity where they can feed their fantasies. They can join in the collective worship of the male body and be naked with other men – in the locker room, the steam room and the showers – in a milieu that is viewed positively by society. It’s all about being healthy and taking care of yourself, right? It’s not about showing off and being physically and sexually affirmed, right? The gym is a macho environment so no-one needs to feel threatened by the often unacknowledged and even unconscious sexually-nuanced games being played out.

Why switch into cruise mode?
I think it’s a universal and simple truth that, like the colour red flags a bull’s attention, most of us are intrigued by naked beef. But why do some of us respond by switching into cruising or quickie mode, especially in a public space where we could be caught?

Gay and bisexual men have an interesting history of engaging in sex in public spaces. Social anthropologists have attempted to explain why gay men have traditionally cruised in places such as parks, railway stations and public toilets, and have documented the development of commercial spaces specifically for man-to-man sex, such as darkrooms and steambaths.

Historically, rampant homoprejudice and society’s denial and condemnation of the realities of man-to-man sex culminated in many gay men marrying women and identifying as heterosexual, but still desiring sex with other men. Invariably they couldn’t bring men home to play – and resorted to clandestinely cruising and playing in public places where they were more likely to meet other kindred spirits. But dark parks, secluded beaches and public toilets often attracted gay bashers, police harassment and the risk of public humiliation, providing an incentive for the establishment of dedicated playrooms such as steambaths and darkrooms.

Talking not required
Interestingly, gay men’s cruising behaviour in public spaces has generally excluded verbal communication. It’s usually all about bodiliness, spatial proximity, posturing, eye contact and sexual tension, with speech often being redundant.

In fact, in many such situations, spoken communication is avoided – have you ever tried striking up a chatty conversation in a darkroom? Speech implies a loss of anonymity and negates the concept of “body as object”. In such situations we desire the beefy body and the attached gonads, not the “person”. And, before the editor wonders where I’m going with this, there are similar protocols around communication and personal space being played out in gyms.

So here’s one hypothesis for an interesting research project: I propose that two horny guys sitting in a sauna at gym are more likely to fidget with each other in situ if there’s no verbal communication between them than if they’ve just had a chat about the weather. Or, if you prefer, the potential for sexual interaction is inversely proportional to the verbal communication taking place. From my experience there isn’t much conversation between guys hanging out in a sauna or a steamroom but perhaps there’s room here for an annual ‘Virgin Active Scholarship in Sexual Psychology’. How’s that for a contradiction in terms?

Not always about lust
Let’s also acknowledge that quickie sex, or even furtive games such as cruising and perving over a really attractive guy, is not always about lust. Cruising fulfils countless functions and a bit of opportunistic sexual fidgeting in a sauna or steamroom can affirm our own desirability and attractiveness.

Cruising affirms our power to attract, to accept and to reject attention from others. It can affirm our masculinity. It can allow us to feel sexually charged and alive. It allows us to experience a risk of possible rejection. It allows men, both straight and gay, an opportunity to flaunt our manhood and to blatantly posture our potential phallic power.

It furthermore provides an ideal opportunity for us to compare our bodies with others, to boost our egos, to feel inspired and to experience a sense of bonding and belonging, through the unspoken acknowledgement of male-to-male interest.

I’m not advocating for lewd behaviour, but let’s be honest – steamrooms and saunas are generally very dull, boring and uncomfortable places so a bit of eye-contact and perving sure help pass the time.

21/10/2008 - Gay Flirting Tips

Flirting is fun for everyone and the gay community has not been left behind. Just like in any relationship where by it starts off with flirting, most gay relationships also start this way. There are various ways that you can flirt and get someone who is interested in you to flirt with you. Compliments have always worked and if you used them correctly, they will not let you down. If you see something in the person you like throw a compliment his way. It could be about his smile, the way he is dressed, anything. Just make sure you get it right and you do not go complimenting him on something that is definitely not good, if he does not have a good sense of humor, you will end up with a black eye and gay flirting will not have worked for you.

Hold the person's eyes when gay flirting. The eyes always communicate more, they tell the person that you are since. A simple look at the person will mean that you like them and it could also be a welcome. Tell the person you have taken a liking to that you do by flirting with them with the eyes. This is how you should do it, look at the person longer than you would, make sure you are looking at his eyes, and then slowly move to any other part of the body when you are sure that you have got his attention. This way, he will know for sure that you like them and you would like to get to know them better or that you would like to be in a relationship with them.

When talking to the person and you intend to flirt with him, whisper to him. Tell the person anything in a whisper. This way you will capture his attention more than you would if you talked to him in a leveled voice. When gay flirting match the tone of your voice to his or try to mimic the person you are talking to. That is, try to talk like the person who is talking to you. This way, you will make the person feel like you admire them. We all do that, try to imitate the person we admire and love, we will talk like them and even sometimes walk like them.

Do not ever try to make any sexual advances on your first day of gay flirting. If you have been flirting for a while it is okay to do that but if you have never met before any sexual advance you make will not be welcomed. Do not try it at all. Flirt with everything else you got and using any skill that have acquired or you were born with because flirting is just one of those things that human beings were born with but what ever you do keep any sexual advances to yourself. Go ahead and flirt today, get yourself that person you have been admiring for ages or that person you just saw across the room that you have suddenly felt something special on him. Do not be shy, however do not also be cocky it will not do you any good.

20/10/2008 - October Newsletter

Gay Love Site is a place for adults to meet likeminded people online with a view to meet in person later, a place where you can have your say via the blogs, a place to have your profile and upload your own pictures, a place to chat away in the chat box, and most importantly - a place where we will assist you via events and happenings, as well as information, on enjoying a super GLBT lifestyle.

Gay Love Site is all about people and interactivity. We as the webmasters can only do so much - the rest depends on the members. Too many people have become absorbed in a "feed me by spoon" lifestyle where the only action needed is to swallow information. To be successful online, to achieve your dreams and fantasies, you need to become active. You need to type a message to other people, put your thoughts into a blog, comment on others writings and pictures and share information, wishes and dreams.

Get Active - become a part of the community!!

Gay Love Site has over 560 current members from all over South Africa - couples and singles - and there are a lot of contact information, pictures and details available on the profiles. Use the Search function to find the people close to you look at the latest added Profiles and contact those that interest you, read the Blogs written by others and take the time to comment on them, send us information on parties and happenings in your area. Become an active part of this community and pretty soon you will have such a great social life that you would actually kick yourself for not doing this sooner.

Needed - Moderators, Chatters and Social Organisers

We are looking for people who want to assist us in moderating profiles, keep the chat box alive and busy by welcoming new people and chatting a bit there. We are also looking for people to organise social get-togethers at your local pubs/restaurants/clubs or even to organise a house party and then be able to verify members as being the real deal. If you have any ideas or thoughts on this, or feel you want to become more active in the community, and then please send an e mail to support@gaylovesite.com

Latest Articles and News:
Gay Sugar Daddy Dating - The Why and How
Safer Sex for Lesbians and Bisexual
Male Model Star

Newest members:
mzero South Africa
chut Margate - KwaZulu-Natal
immortalstud Johannesburg - Gauteng
none Brisbane - Queensland
Jones Welkom - Free State

Looking forward to your feedback, and we hope we can rely on you, the members, to get Gay Love Site cooking again.

Love
The Gaylovesite Team
http://www.gaylovesite.com

18/10/2008 - Gay Sugar Daddy Dating - The Why and How

Gay sugar daddy dating is probably a term you've never heard before, but if you're like most in the gay community, you've witnessed a dramatic shift in the age disparity of most gay relationships. It's becoming more and more common for young gay men to form mutually beneficial 'mentor' relationships with older and wealthier gay daddies. Now as the word gets out about online gay sugar daddy dating, one site has been taking the heat...

Gay sugar daddies seeking young gay men have long been deprived of safe, and secure ways of creating no-strings-attached relationships, which is part of the reason why rich gay men have chosen this discreet and highly controversial way of meeting and arranging ' gay daddy' relationships.

How to Find a Gay Sugar Daddy

If you're like me - a young, entry level professional gay male - you know that there's more than just a financial benefit to dating older and wiser men. Upwardly mobile as I am, I've found that arranging dates with successful and appreciative men leaves me with a better taste in my mouth than after a quick romp with 'YoungTopforNow' on a craigslist booty-call ad.

Unlike normal gay dating sites that feel more like meat markets than places to forge 'true love', a gay sugar daddy site has an ironically professional, warm, sincere and honest feel to it. Perhaps the fact that older and wealthy gay daddies are looking for more than just sex, but actually interested in helping to grow young men into successful adults - gives these types of sites a sense of class not seen elsewhere.

Rich Gay Men - Why Date 'em?

Most of the gay sugar babies on gay sugar daddy dating sites are of the Twinkish variety (between 18-25), and are struggling to pay for rent, college or just have a desire to explore the world without having to worry about not having enough money. "I know that my looks are going to fade over time... eventually, I'll loose my hair like my grandfather did, and I think it's smart to aim for the top and not apologize for it" - says one gay sugar babe.

The truth is, this kind of thing has been going on throughout the ages. From the ancient Greeks to present day America, relationships between an older male benefactor and a younger same-sex lover have been a common way for men without family ties to get ahead. "I met my sugar babe 2 years ago, and he's been able to enhance areas of his life he couldn't while working 2 jobs and going to school... I'm glad I can give him some of the comforts I had coming up" - gay sugar daddy.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Stephan_Lee_Smith

11/09/2008 - How To Flirt

Flirting is more of an art than a science, and the techniques have definitely been upgraded from the traditional gay cruise. Anonymous nods aren't enough these days. Guys want the effort along with the interest. Here's how to flirt and get a guy's attention...

...when he's across the room:

Make contact. Position yourself in front or near him, preferably where you can make eye contact. Not all guys like to be touched by strangers, so try and connect with his eyes first.

Keep your glance. Once you've locked eyes, keep your glance for at least a few seconds. Remember, you're flirting not starring him down, so keep it playful.

Drop the eyes. After you've locked eyes with him, gently move your glance elsewhere. Then, shift your eyes back to him, making contact again. Give a soft smile.

Make a move. At this point he knows you're interested. If he's into you he'll either repeatedly connect with your glances, smile back or both. Time to make a move and seal the deal. This is often the hardest part for most guys.

Seal the deal. He'll eventually tire of playing peek-a-boo, so don't miss your window to say hello.

There are two ways you can seal the deal:

(a) Use the "heat seeking" technique where you walk right up to him, introduce yourself and keep the conversation going, or

(b) try the "hit and run" move, where you write your number down on a piece of paper, give it to him, tell him to go out with you, then walk away. I was eating dinner with friends once when a guy came up to the table, set a piece of paper in front of me and said, "You. Me. Dinner this weekend." I sat there stunned and he just walked away. Did I call? You bet, if only for the intrigue.

Maintain your cool. The thing I love about the '70s is that the dudes were laid back and cool. "Smooth" is what my dad called it. They were able to be direct, get a point across and accomplish their love agendas all in a few seamless gestures. Perfect your inner roller girl cool by practicing these flirting techniques. Be smooth with your glances, your lookback, your approach and your follow up.

Follow up.
The hard part is over. He's intrigued, now all you have to do is follow up. If you say you're going to call, call. Keep your cool and wait at least a day before blowing his phone up.

...when he's walking toward you:
When a guy is walking toward you, use the steps above to flirt with him. But, instead of dropping your eyes, keep his glance until you pass him. Once this happens, do what I call the "double look back":
Slow your walking pace and look back over your shoulder.
Hold your look to see if he also glances back. If he does, you've got him.
For those who want a little more assurance that he's interested, keep walking then glance again. If he responds with yet another lookback, then he's ready to talk.
Slowly turn around and either stop or walk towards him.
Once you are face to face, start your small talk.

Offense and "smooth cool" wins the game of flirting. You only have a few seconds to capture his attention and keep it, so make the most of it and don't forget to be smooth.

11/09/2008 - Safer Sex for Lesbians and Bisexual Women

Safer sex for lesbians and bisexual women is a way to protect yourself from contracting or transmitting sexually transmitted diseases including HIV and AIDS. But what exactly is safer sex? And how can you be sure you’re protected?

First the disclaimer. If you’re sexually active, there is no 100 percent protection against contracting a sexually transmitted infection. But there are some things you can do to make your play safer.

The best way to protect yourself from contracting a sexually transmitted disease is to keep your partner’s body fluids out of your body. These fluids include vaginal fluids, blood, menstrual blood, breast milk, and semen.

Here are some low-risk activities:

Masturbation (only touching yourself)
Cybersex
Nipple and breast stimulation when not lactating
Erotic massage
Body rubbing
Kissing
Using a sex toy with a condom (be sure to use a new condom if sharing sex toys)
Cunnilingus (oral sex) with a barrier, such as a glove, dental dam or plastic wrap
Vaginal or anal contact with a latex glove

The following activities are Risky:

Unprotected cunnilingus, especially when a woman is bleeding
Unprotected rimming
Sharing sex toys without a condom
Sharing needles
Unprotected fellatio
Unprotected penis/vaginal intercourse
Unprotected penis/anal intercourse

Here are some additional tips to keep yourself safe:

Communication is the key to satisfying sex. If you don’t think you can ask for what you want, you may not be ready to have sex with that partner.
Drugs and alcohol can impair your judgment. Have sex when you’re sober.
For oral sex use a dental dam, glove or plastic wrap.
Always use a condom with dildos, vibrators and butt plugs.
Never share sex toys without cleaning them or changing the condom first.
Do not share needles for drugs, piercing or anything else.
Dispose of gloves, condoms and dental dams properly. Turn gloves and condoms inside out as you pull them off and drop in the trash.
Only use dental dams, condoms and other barriers once.
Clean your sex toys with antibacterial soap after each use.
Use only water-based lubricants. Oil-based lube can break down latex and render it ineffective.
Use gloves for any contact with the vagina or anus of your partner. Be sure to use a fresh glove after touching her anus.
Never touch your partner’s anus and then touch her vagina, whether with your hand, sex toy or tongue. Wash your hands with an antibacterial soap and put a fresh condom on the sex toys.
If your partner has an infection, yeast, bacterial or urinary tract, see a doctor.

What if we’re monogamous?
For two people who have sex exclusively with each other, here are some recommended guidelines:

Use latex barriers every time you have sex for six months.
After six months, both of you should be tested for STDs, such as herpes, HIV and hepatitis C. If you both test negative, and there are no other bacterial infections, such as Chlamydia, you and your partner may decide to have barrier-free sex.
Remember this presumes that you trust your partner is truly monogamous.

By Kathy Belge, About.com

10/09/2008 - Male Model Star

http://instinctmagazine.com/modelstar

21/08/2008 - Gay Hallmark cards launched

Portland, Oregon - Most US states don't recognize gay marriage _ but now Hallmark does.
The US's largest greeting card company is rolling out same-sex wedding cards - featuring two tuxedos, overlapping hearts or intertwined flowers, with best wishes inside. "Two hearts. One promise," one says.

Hallmark added the cards after California joined Massachusetts as the only US states with legal gay marriage. A handful of other states have recognized same-sex civil unions.

The language inside the cards is neutral, with no mention of wedding or marriage, making them also suitable for a commitment ceremony. Hallmark says the move is a response to consumer demand, not any political pressure.

"It's our goal to be as relevant as possible to as many people as we can," Hallmark spokesperson Sarah Gronberg Kolell said.

Hallmark's largest competitor, American Greetings Corp, has no plans to enter the market, saying its current offerings are general enough to speak to a lot of different relationships.

Hallmark started offering "coming out" cards last year, and the four designs of same-sex marriage cards are being gradually released this summer and will be widely available by next year. No sales figures were available yet.

"When I have shopped for situations like babies or weddings for gay friends I have good luck in quirky stores," said Kathryn Hamm, president of the Web site gayweddings.com.

"But if you are just in a generic store ... the bride and groom symbol or words are in most cards," she said. "It becomes difficult to find some that are neutral but have some style."

The Williams Institute at the UCLA School of Law estimates that more than 85 000 same-sex couples in the US have entered into a legal relationship since 1997, when Hawaii started offering some legal benefits to same-sex partners.

It estimates nearly 120 000 more couples will marry in California during the next three years - and that means millions of potential dollars for all sorts of wedding-industry businesses.

Hallmark, known more for its Midwest mores than progressive greetings, has added a wider variety lately. It now offers cards for difficulty getting pregnant or going through rehab.

It pulled a controversial card that featured the word "queer" in the punch line after it was criticised by some customers and gay magazine The Advocate last year. At any given time, Hallmark has 200 different wedding cards on the market, including some catering to interracial or inter-religious marriages and blended families.

Unionized

Rob Fortier, an independent card maker who runs his company, Paper Words, out of New York, added same-sex wedding cards to his mix after thinking about what he would want to receive.

"A lot of people think a gay greeting card needs a rainbow on it," Fortier said. "I don't want that."

But for some time, it was difficult to even find the words for what anyone wanted to say, he said.

His first card poked fun at the challenge. On the outside it featured lines that had been scratched out: "Congratulations on being committed!", "Congratulations on being unionized!" and, finally, "Congratulations on being domestically partnered!" The inside wished the couple congratulations on choosing to be together forever.

"It really comes down to language," he said.

John Stark, one of the three founders of Three Way Design in Boston, which makes gay-themed cards for occasions from adoption to weddings, has several new designs sketched out and ready.

But he has hesitated adding more wedding cards to his mix until after the November election, when California voters will decide a constitutional amendment that would again limit marriage to a man and a woman in the state.

"What is scary is to produce a marriage line and then November comes and it's recalled, then we have thousands of dollars of inventory waiting," he said.

The gay-friendly business can be challenging, companies said.

Backlash

Hamm said although she has found many vendors willing to work with her company, some have asked to be removed from the Web site because of hate mail or some other backlash.

Hallmark says all of its stores can choose whether they want to add the latest offerings.

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